May the truth set you free

What i've learned and inspired me today is that decisions are one of the hardest things to do because the ratio of choices to one decision is ridiculous (like 1 to 5000000x743655676830375 to the power of 749465756229), exactly, ridiculous and makes no sense... example: do i want to be this person, do i want to be that type of person, who do i want to be, where do i want to go, what do i want to see, what's for dinner, do i want to love this person, do i want to leave this person, when should i make this really important move, now or later, in or out, up or down, white or navy, east or southeast, rain or fog etc...

the answers mainly come from the 'why' and the 'how'. why do i want to be with him/her, why do i want to stay/go, why do i want to do what i do, how do i get where i want to be, why do i want to eat this hamburger, how long will it take...etc

then there is the 'but' and the 'what if'. once you think you've decided, there is always the but/what if/grass is always greener scenario. this is doubt. everyone has them. some people let doubt take over their life. some people play it strong and stick with their gut instincts. others go back and forth with their initial 'decision', which then really isn't a decision at all.

then ultimately a final decision is made with all the reasons above. there is no right or wrong. there is not one way. it is contentment and long term happiness that will make you realize you made the right decision.

i don't know why i'm writing this actually. i'm not a philosopher, counselor, therapist, mother, or an educator. but i do feel that after a monumental conversation with a friend about him wanting to go back to his place of comfort, i have to write this.

COMFORT can be very deceiving. comfort food, people, places, work, etc. and it does feel really good, at least for a little bit. comfort can also come disguised as safe and happiness. what i've learn in my 20's is that comfortability never got me long term happiness. before i turned 20, i wasn't searching for happiness. i was searching to be accepted. now that i know who i am, i can continue my journey onward. of course, in my 30's i will trying to figure some other life questions out.

we all have to make decisions, whether we stick with them, listen to our gut, listen to our friends, listen to god, or watch for a sign. make sure you are completely honest with yourself, even if it means being out of your comfort place, scared, anxious, even temporarily sad. until then, we won't be able to make the best decision.

to pursue this accessory/online venture will call upon all those uncertain feeling but giving back to community will feel too good to quit. it can not fail without me trying a ridiculous (see above mathematical problem) amount of time. i didn't fall into it, someone didn't convince me, i didn't even have to convince myself. this is a CHOICE that i made and i believe that is more powerful than a decision.